Partner's Past. Should we mind?

Should a person’s past be a judgement of who and what they are? I was asked this question all the time, especially when it comes to their partners. Honestly, I don’t mind my partner’s past. I believe that when you are in a relationship with a person, its the present that should be focused on and not the what happened last time. Only that way, will a future exist for the both of you. As troubling as some past might be, it plays safe to be honest.

Everyone has got a past. Nobody liked their past to be brought up. It will only invite more questions from partner. First come minor misunderstandings, then mistrust then followed by the end of the relationship. If we were to keep bickering about what happened last time, the relationship will just come to nought. Personally, my past ain’t that glorious as well, so why should I mind my partner’s?

As much as I agree that the past should remain buried, the partner has every right to know of their partner’s past as well. Imagine the following scenario:

Guy A and Girl A had been going out for a long time. Guy A had some past that he never told Girl A. One fine day, Guy A’s ex, B, came up to Girl A to complain or boast about some issues she used to have with Guy A. Girl A gets suspicious and starts to doubt Guy A. One thing lead to another and soon, it marks the end of a wonderful relationship.

Imagine the consequences. All that could be avoided only if Guy A had been honest and opened up to Girl A in the first place. That’s why I believe that a couple should be honest to one another and not have any hidden skeletons in the closet. Sometimes, its best to tell your partner when you can and not let it drag. How do you expect your partner to feel when he/she hears it from another party? Disappointment? Hurt? Anger?

Although sometimes its difficult to open up to tell your partner of your own past, put them in your shoes. How would you feel if you were treated that same way? Not a good feeling right? Then don’t do it to others if you do not want that to happen to you.

There are 3 keys to a successful relationship. Honesty, Trust and Love. How is Trust supposed to exist when the main foundations of the relationship is already shaken? Or when either party is not willing to be honest with one another?

I am very happy with my own relationship right now. She accepts my past and I don’t fault her for hers. Am glad we were both very honest to one another to begin with.

This entry serves as a purpose to remind others that certain things had to be said and not hidden just because you think it might hurt your partner back then. It hurts more hearing from another party or much later on. Now if you excuse me, time to give my darling a good night call.